FFH:Kronicals of Rebecca Swansin

Ashleigh: Okay move it to the left…no, no! MY left not yours! For the love of god if you can’t do it I will!! Okay now move it a little closer….Perfect! Yay new couch!! *skips over and sits*
Sarah: Really Ash? Honestly?
Alex: Arg~ my back. Why did we need to move the couch again?
Ashleigh: I want to make sure everything is perfect!
Alex: Well, At least I'll be comfy while enduring brain pain.
Sarah:Fuck ass!
Ashleigh: LET THE PAIN BEGIN!!

Chapter 34 – ALIVE AGIN
Ashleigh: …That’s it I quit *about to get up and leave only to be forced to sit again by a staff member* DAMN YOU RODGER!!
Sarah: You died!
Alex: Woman! I will get the duct tape! If I gotta sit through this shit SO DO YOU!
"what fuck" I sed as I got up shakily.
Sarah: Lets see how many times she says the world fuck comes up one, two, three…
Alex: I believe she means to say "what fuck the"
Ashleigh: I think we all want to know that…
"wate what how the fuck!? I kill you but you survive that? mtoherfucker" chcolove sed to me.
Alex: Apparently your death beams take a bit more power to kill that much stupid
Ashleigh: That’s a good question…spelling is still bad.
Sarah: Four, five
"I don't know gtfo you just killed me" You! I say and then do! Cocolove got his lance out and looked mega fuocking confused. And then vamporized and dispeared into the darkness. I was in a graveyard and so was bella to. We were both fucing fuocking confused because last I remember I was killed by lance and bella was bullet by shot.
Sarah: I have no idea what just happened.
Alex: Goddamn, I need a fucking Rosetta Stone to understand this womans speech!
Ashleigh: A cunning linguist she is not
"just kidding, lol" bella say getting up now alive and better. She lauhs and smiles and says "I just pretended to die I can do that you know" and then we hi 5 becaused this was a plan we had emergiencially planend out every since the beginning of the last chapter. Bella would fake dye and I would faek dye to make motherfucoker Chocolove reveel just how evil he was that raggot.
Ashleigh: …The fuck did that bitch say? I swear I will hurt her majorly if I could.
Sarah: To the labs!
Alex: Raggot, is like that a homosexual Fraggle?
"Rebecca wtf your body it has changed!" bella say looking to me. I standed back and looked at myself and then I realized I was not me!
Sarah: You just now saw that is as changed?
Ashleigh: I can feel my IQ depleting!
Alex: I got a spoon under my ear catching my brain goo that leaks out. Taste like corn ovo
"it was my soul even though my body dyed my soul didn't go to heaven or hell so it found a new body!" I say. And then I realized!
Alex: Oh bullshit~ if you died every shadow outside the exosphere would be all over your ass!
Sarah: I am shocked your soul even found a new host.
Ashleigh: No…The soul goes to purgatory!
MY BODY WAS BELLA'S AND BELLA AND ME WERE SHARING A BOODY!
All: …What?
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I scream becuz Bella and Bella I was had to share the femae genitalia that is my body!
Sarah: I need brain bleach.
Ashleigh: Yes I need to know about her vagina
Alex: Does that mean if she masturbates it would technically be a lesbian love romp?
"we have to fix this fucking fast you shitbitch" Bella say now no longer friend since mutual enemy in Chocolive was defeated.
Sarah: Most epic enemy battle ever.
Alex: Bitch waffles more than Sarah Palin
Ashleigh: The enemy can always come back you know.
"damn fast" I say. So then we went home to Cullen manner and I went to the bathroom and I started my moisturizing treatment because bella's face is filled with goddamn motherfucking acne and shit because she never fucking takes care of it. Or was it my face now. Or was it Bella's? Who was even thinking this I no one don't even know at this uppity point somebody fucking put me back in my own body!
Alex: It's like watching schizophrenia slowly leach into the mind of someone half way sane.
Sarah: Okay getting annoyed now...not everyone can be a doll like you.
Ashleigh: Okay this is kind of starting to irk me a little
"Rebecca's soul now lungers inside of Bella's" Jacob explained to Alicia, Tanishashanqua, Edowerd, Alec, and everybuddy else who didn't try to fucking MURDUR me earlier [I explained, you do not want to kill me rite now trust me] after I explicated it towards him. But Jacob didn't expantiate it right and it was like he was trying to place some of the blame on me! Like it was my fault that my soul piloted into Bella's body afterwards and her fatass soul didn't get the fuck out of my way. Maybe if her soul stopped eating so many fucking pillbugs on the playground then she wouldn't be so fucking ugly that motherfucker.
Sarah: Well we could see that her soul was not in Bella's body we are not blind..then again...
Ashleigh: Again makes no sense what so ever!
Alex:It went from explanation, to personal blame, to exchanging blame, to bella being fat and ugly...Ringling Bros don't backflip through that many hoops!
Edowerd said: "hello friend I will stick with you from now as a simple form of Rebella!"
All: Rebella?
"Yes Rebella is an excellent name for the organism" Carlisle the father Collin came in and said.
Ashleigh: Pfft you know if she misspelled organism it would be hilarious
Alex: She's no longer human, she's just a thing. Mutant vile creature bleeeeh!!
Sarah: And ware did the dad come from?!
"I love her she's even cuter than the real Bella!" Jacob squirted. Right then Bella's soul popped right out of her body and went into the doll on her desk. Now I had Bella's body because mine dyed and now Bella was in an old doll because let's face it she has all the charisma and grace of a goddamn fucking dead ass doll. But this meant I had bellas fucing stupid ass brain that failed psychics class two years in a row so im fuocked inn school now.
All:*Laughing*
Sarah: pfff! Jacob squirted  the she was cuter.
Alex: Apparently Jacob can't keep his cock in his pants for 5 seconds! *laughing* Just fuckin jizzing right and left on everything!
Ashleigh: S-She said squirt *laughing*
*the three calm down*
Alex: Goddamn it, can you imagine a surface the cum wont stick to?
Sarah: This chick is just wow.
Ashleigh: I still can’t believe she said “Squirt”
"You are so cute, Rebecca" Jacob said to me, because I'm not fucing bella anymore. I had taken bella's body in the ethereal struggle for life and that meant I was rightfully at the top of the fucking food chain.
Ashleigh: Um… no you’re not, things can still eat you.
Sarah: You’re not a god now you twit.
Alex: I got a pack of ravenous wild baboons right here who would happily maul your face off, love.
"But my sword! It was broke in the fight!" I say. Then Angela step forward and tell me something.
Sarah:......the moon?.....
Alex: Cue moblin running in going "It's a secret to everybody"
Ashleigh: What am I supposed to say to that?
"However to beat it, here is something! When I summoned the moon I made a new Katana. Take my Black Katane and use it's super power to fight the force" she say and then gtfo because Nobody wanted to fucking deal with the that shit of her and Tasnishashqna's dad being evil and crap.
Alex:I'm not even getting to the "summon the moon" part, but goddamn girl! Someone gives you a shiny you best be thankful for the fuckin shiny!
Sarah: She is on moon sugar!
Ashleigh: The hell is this bitch’s deal!?
"So Cocolove is evil we must kill that fucker" I said.
Sarah: And cue evil madman.
Ashleigh: You could always just have him arrested…
Alex: You could always just string him up by his thumbs and and attach a taser to his dick.....wut? o.o
But then angela came "Chocolove you do not need to kill that bastard, we would are evil through blood?"
Ashleigh:  THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!
Sarah: I want some of the moon sugar.....
Alex: What did I just read? That line just broke my Google Translate! DX
"No we must try to save daddy he is just confused!" Tanishashanqua say. She is so kind but I don't take that shit from no one so I smacked her getto ass face and she was all like "did u just fucing do that whore" and I was all like "fuck yeah you wanna go!?" and she pussied out. The ho.
Ashleigh: What did you say?
Alex: Oh shit, A-ashleigh c-calm down
Sarah: Calm down woman...
Ashleigh: OH NO!! THE FUCK DID SHE SAY!? *gets up*I SWEAR IMMA BEAT A HOE!!
Sarah: And there she goes
Alex: That's it, where did I put that leash?
"we are not worried you shouldn't worried about that" Edowerd say and we did not know why yet. He could tell us. He would tell us. "we must now fight esme, the wolves, and now chocolate love. These are three many [AN" see!? Instead of 2many I have 3many!] enemies to fight of!"
Ashleigh: *in isolation trying to get out of the straight jacket* LET ME OUT OF HERE DAMMIT!!
Alex: SHUT YA ASS UP OR NO JELLO WITH YOUR MEDS!! Now then, Simplify your dumbass story. It'll hopefully make it shorter and I wont have a brain bleed from reading it.
Sarah: Hopefully she’ll calm down soon
"Do not worry about him what we must worry about is the wolves. They are cuming to start the final battle vs the Collins" Jacub say. "But you can change life's tide like the waters of a waterfall can change the course of a farm" he also say.
Alex: You can change life...tide...That made absolutely no sense at all!
Sarah: Well the moon dose change tides.
Alex: If you're gonna try waxing philosophical you should have a half way learned think meat. Since you're lacking this, kindly wax off!
Sarah: Since when dose this woman think?
"So if I direct the course of the farms I will be able to turn tide?" I say!? This was a chance!
Ashleigh: Can I be let out now!?
Sarah: NO!
Alex: tempting, she could render their souls with her eye beam death lazorz
Sarah: Yes death lazorz are good....let her free
Alex: On it.
"yes I believe so" bells say.
*the lock clicks*
Ashleigh: Finally!!
Alex: Now no killing anyone till we're done, got it?
Sarah: then you can use the lazorz
Ashleigh: Deal. Let’s continue with this crap.
"bella I am sorry this happned we will find a way to get u back in ur uglyass body" I say and then she cryed a teardrop of joy becuz someone was nice to her in her fucking life.
Sarah: And now she is nice?....
Alex: All you're doing with this is making me feel sympathy for the character you rag on constantly.
Ashleigh: Well…She pretty much tormented poor Bella…by god I actually feel sorry for her!
"we will deal with this nonsense hell tomorrow" edoweord say and we break the group of me, bella, Alicia, tanishahsnqua, alec, jacub, edowerd, and angela [but not really she will probably turn evil later don't spoil it though].
Alex: ... Really?
Ashleigh: Um HELLO!! You already spoiled it!
Sarah: Yay for spoilers!
It was time to eat and shit and go to bed though. So I did. Bella went to slep in alicia's dollhose.
Ashleigh: Is it me or has she cussed in every sentence so far?
Sarah:  She did I counted.
Alex: This girl curses more than I do. Goddamn it, I gotta fuckin catch up!
"Tomorrow I will fucking handle this bullshit" I say and go to bed.
Sarah: Yay! Done!
Ashleigh: Thank god it’s over!
Alex: You're the one who friggen wanted to read it in the first place!
Ashleigh: This is what happens when we’re left alone.
Sarah: Indeed~
Alex: Goddamn it I need clones ~.~